If a parent is concerned about the other parent's current or potential alcohol and/or drug abuse, it is important to establish trust – both between the parents and, often, with the children – in that parent's ability to safely and effectively parent. Courts prioritize the best interests of the child, and a parent's efforts to achieve sobriety can significantly influence their assessment.
Essential Considerations in Custody Cases Involving Alcohol or Drug Abuse
The following list includes examples of key questions that may arise in custody cases involving parental alcohol or drug abuse and sobriety.
(1) Can the parent stop using or drinking?
If you believe you do not have a problem with alcohol or drugs and the other parent is making a baseless accusation, the easiest way to dispel a concern of one's inability to manage their alcohol or drug consumption is to stop using. Your efforts are best spent dispelling the allegation rather than being upset that a parent has made the claim. Ceasing social alcohol use can clearly demonstrate the lack of dependence. Clean hair follicle drug tests can demonstrate sobriety up to ninety (90) days.
(2) If you are actively working on your relationship with alcohol or drugs, are you consistently participating in a structured recovery program?
Oftentimes, if a parent is actively working on their sobriety, it is in the children's best interest to have ongoing and consistent contact and parenting time with appropriate safeguards in place:
- Ensure the parent is sober during parenting time;
- Restrict the parent's ability to drive the children; and
- Supervise parenting time or have parenting time in a public location.
(3) How does the parent build back trust and demonstrate sobriety?
Over time, demonstrated sobriety rebuilds trust and proves that the substance use is under control.
- Soberlink Monitoring – Soberlink is a mobile breathalyzer connected to an app on your phone that tracks sobriety by reporting test results, including passed, missed, or failed tests. Parents can agree to the terms of using Soberlink to test for sobriety before, during, and after parenting time for a specified duration.
- Treatment Program or Therapy Reports – Routine updates, letters, or reports from treatment programs or therapists can provide evidence of ongoing recovery efforts.
- Routine Drug Testing – Regular drug testing offers objective proof of sobriety and compliance.
Modifying Parenting Plans Based on Sobriety Progress
Parenting arrangements are always subject to modification, allowing for adjustments to a parenting plan or parenting schedule based on a parent's progress or setbacks. A useful analogy is the board game of "Chutes and Ladders" – as a parent displays progress, their parenting time can gradually increase. However, in the event of a setback or relapse, they may need to return to an earlier phase of the plan to rebuild trust and stability.
Balancing Stability, Safety, & Parental Rights
Navigating sobriety during a custody case can be challenging for the whole family. Understandably, a parent may feel apprehensive about sending their children for parenting time, while children may be concerned about spending time with a parent who may be inebriated and unable to provide proper care. Both the parent and the children need assurances that the children are safe. Again, building trust is imperative.
For the parent struggling with alcohol or drug use, this is also an opportunity to display a commitment to the well-being of the children as well as to the recovery process.
Ultimately, the goal is for children to have two healthy parents who can provide stability, consistency, and a safe, nurturing environment. Both parents should understand that there are various tools and stages available that can be used over time to achieve that goal.
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
