If you are considering separating, or have just separated, we have prepared a checklist, in no particular order, of the 10 most important things you can do to ensure the best outcome for the children.
Below is a summary, but take the time to read the full checklist and explanations here.
- Communicate with your Ex-Partner
-
Good parenting requires excellent teamwork by the parents, whether they are separated or not.
- Take Parenting Advice
-
Separation creates a new parenting dynamic. Adapting to that dynamic can require assistance from experts.
- Involve yourself in Counselling
-
You can book counselling sessions with a specialist counsellor through the government funded Family Relationship Centre or through a private counsellor of your own choice.
- Focus on the Children's Needs
-
Following the breakdown of a relationship, tensions can be intense. The children's needs can easily be relegated to a lower priority while parents deal with their own emotional issues. DON'T ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN.
- Don't involve the Children in any Parenting Dispute
-
Speaking to the children about the nature of any dispute, seeking their views, or commenting to them negatively about your ex-partner, will be highly damaging for the children.
- Communication with Your Children
-
The children will have questions which you should answer truthfully, in a way that acknowledges their feelings and reassures them that their parents are working together to create a constructive solution to their concerns.
- Take Legal Advice
-
A good lawyer will guide you through the complexities of what, for most people, is a novel and unknown journey. That lawyer can direct you to the non-legal services and support you will need on that journey.
- Arrange Child Support
-
Adequate child support ensures that the children have the physical security necessary to underpin a constructive parenting arrangement.
- Don't Tolerate Domestic Violence
-
If you have any concerns, raise them immediately with your lawyer, your counsellor or with any professional with whom you are dealing concerning the children.
- Arrange a Parenting Plan
-
The best way to provide emotional security for the children is for their parents to agree on, and implement, a thoughtful parenting plan as soon as possible after separation.
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.